* Try ironing it onto a t-shirt.
* What would Zenobia, Empress of Palmyra, do?
* That chicken - it's impersonating Mussolini! Question the outcome.
* Tie it to your favourite aunt's shiba inu.
* Is something m ssing?
* Consider bacon.
* Nick something from that smartarse Eno.
* Use "unqualified" people, eg. dentist, electrician.
* Try it again, only less sucky this time.