Apparently our PM is now a childrens' author and apparently the childrens' book he has co-authored is called Jasper & Abby and the Great Australia Day Kerfuffle. The book is not, sadly, a trenchant examination of how Australia Day provokes at least as much confusion, anger and self-righteousness as it does celebration and reflection. No, the book is about the PM's cat and dog. In one scene, which constitutes at least a portion of the eponymous kerfuffle, the two wascally whelps ruin an Australia Day cake. An Australia Day cake! Who knew such a thing existed?
A lot of the real life Australia Day kerfuffle could be solved by either a) not having Australia Day at all, or b) moving it to a date less freighted with historical significance. I've never seen the point of it anyway. This country hardly lacks for patriotic fervour - like the proverbial "Kids' Day", Australia Day needn't exist because every day is Australia Day.