Monday, 31 August 2009

Are you there blog? It's me, Margaret

Having made several abortive attempts to return to blogging this year, I inaugurate this blog with a certain skepticism. Chances are it will last a week or four posts, whichever comes first, then stand forever in awkward silence on the blogspot servers, protuberant shoulder to saliva-slicked jowl with the kazillion other abandoned, undead blogs.

Then again, perhaps this one will stick. Blogs might be passé in the Facebook/Twitter/whatever-next era, but what other medium allows the individual crank infinite space to rant, spit and make unsightly gestures? I suppose the very rich could afford to employ a crack squadron of skywriters to etch their ephemeral opinions, anecdotes and lolcats against the empyrean, but for the rest of us blogging will have to suffice.

As the preceding waffle demonstrates, perhaps the most difficult thing about starting a blog, besides coming up with an appropriately smug and/or cryptic name, is writing the first post, the introduction to the thing that doesn't yet exist. This particular example of the genre is so overwrought and pointless that I'll probably come back in a few weeks and delete it, then pretend it never existed. And if somebody has taken a screenshot of it and attempts to prove that it did indeed exist, then I shall accuse that person of forgery and have him or her shot at dawn by trained monkeys whose alcohol-induced shakes cease only for the brief moment it takes them to aim and fire.